SWELLIE PART 2............

ok,....so i know i said i was gonna post the part two soon but i was MIA for a while.....was prepping for my final..which i took today and hopefully turns out well...*crossing fingers*
so yes oh..where was I sef on the swellie issue?
eh heh...so this guy was there still deceiving himself that he was one smooth guy oh......he read some kind of peom to me the night after the movies on the fone......
kai!!! if u hear this poem ehn?? u'll hate poetry...infact next time u see a poet u'll slap them....this guy was yanning pure dust and called it 'romantic poetry'.....
na only God help me make i no begin laff that day on the fone.....
then he went ahead to tell me about his exes and how he doesnt like igbo girls(this guy is igbo oh) but wen he met me he changed his mind...bla bla bla
igbo girls are rude, igbo girls like money, igbo girls are deceitful, not romantic(this guy is 0.000000 to infinity % romantic oh)
so am like..well whatever.....u dont have to like evrybody ...life is like that..then he is like
''but iphy when i met u my world changed completely!!''
this is someone i have known for only 2 days oh..so when exactly did his world have time to change....kai!! mehn the guy thot i was mesmerised by all his yannings.......*wrong move hommie.....u better do ur research..not evryone falls for lines like dat*
then he now started talking about how he was a smart kid back in naija and he is even doin phd now....and to do phd you have to be smart ..that infact anybody who doesnt do phd will not turn out well in this life......*talk about ignorance in the highest order* na because u manage escape naija come do phd..person no go breathe again? i should now fly because ur doin phd?? ode!! lol..
he didnt even stop there...homeboy was bragging like no mans bizness mehn!!
''oh, i was a smart kid, oh i came out with first class, oh i was offered an oil company job i turned down because i wanted to pursue this phd..oh i kno this big person, oh i used to tutor boys in unilag because i understood physics and chemistry like MAD!!''
i wanted to cry....which kind boring conversation be dis?? like nigga seriously...i dont give a rat's ass about ur 'oh so wonderful' life.....*smh*
anyways so i told him that i didnt want anything to do with him, that i didnt like him, and that he is an 'uncle'.....looool...
then he's like ''we can still be friends right?''
i said...no problem...shebi na friendship..ehn...i fit do dat one but anything besides that is a NO....
he said ok...
so now, we didnt talkfor a while oh..den one day i texted him just to say wassup and long time and all dat....he replied and we were texting..den somewhere along the line ....the following conversation came up
iphy: hey u at work?
swellie:yea...any problem?
iphy:no, i just wanted to kno wen u get of work?
swellie:11pm ..i have lots of stuff to do..y do u ask?
iphy:oh ok..i wanted u to drop me in church on ur way home from work..i have choir practice and my friend dat normally drops me is taking a test..but nevermind ..i'll just find another way to get to church or i'll just go 2moro
swellie:oh...no no no...i can get off now...i'll work from home..no problem..i'll be there to pick u up in 15 mins..just print the directions
iphy:are u sure? never mind i'll find a way..
swellie: no dont worry urself.....i'll be there in 15
iphy: ok..thanks
i start gettin ready then in like 5 mins he texted me that he was outside...
so i went outside .got in the car ..said our hellos and drove in silence...then i invite him for my church program i had that weekend just in case he was interested..he said he might come..so am like ok....
then dis boy was just yanning dust about how he knows the manager of shell Nigeria and their whole family..bla bla bla..like seriously? na wa oh..
den all of a sudden..... we got lost...we were on my church road but we were like on another part of the road so we were trying to find our way ...
dude just started vexing!! omo see vex..me sef i fear...shuo??
hitting his head on the steering wheel...raising his voice about how i got him lost....*as if i was the one behind the wheel oh*
so me am like ''stop yelling...me too am confused....no need for all this unnecessary vex..let me call church and find out ...at least we are on the right road''
so me i called my friend who was in church at the time.... she said she didnt kno how to direct me ...so she gave the fone to one guy in my church..as soon as swelllie heard the guys voice....omo....vexxation increase oh!!! just hitting his hand on the steering and panting like a castrated cow...lol
eventually sha the guy directed us..and in between the direction process the guy said something funny and i laughed...if u see the eye swellie used to look at me ehn....as if he wanted to just strangle me...lol....
out of vexxation this dude just started drivin as if there is no tomorrow...turning sharply..speeding, stepping on the gas anyhow....omo.....i fear oh...abeg i no wan die yet .....i shall live to see my pikin's pikins....
eventually we got to church and all..me (being the nice polite person i was trained to be...:D...lol....i apologised for all the hassle..even though i didnt need to..and he was like 'no problem' and dre off in anger...if u see the speed ehn....*james bond aint got nothing on the guy oh...lol*
after my choir practice..i got back home only for me to log on to facebook and see this guy's status..
i cant really remember exactly wat the mumu eve wrote but it was basically.....''one hour ago an igbo gurl just made me realise that i can never marry an igbo girl''
ahn ahn...in my mind am like ''what is doin this one?? lol''
but i paid no attention to it..considering the fact that it may not necesarily be about me...
then dude went on to post a note on facebook oh.....dissing igbo girls...and had the audacity to site me as an example.(he didnt call my name sha...does he have the mind??.....lol)
this note was about 6 long paragraphs oh..
this papalolo(old man) sat down on a lovely friday afternoon and decided to dedicate his time to yanning dust about me...so much for ''grown man''
he narrated the whole incident and added some lies and talked about how i was using up his gas..lik wth?? nigga if u want me to pay you back for the gas u used that day..i'll gladly give u all the money..na because of gas u dey take insult me?? kai!!! iphy u don suffer sha...
he even said i was flirting with the guy that was giving us directions to church...and had the audacity to be laughing at the guy's joke in his car?? lol *some naija guys no go kill me sha*
after he finished the note now..and addd some extra paragraphs about how igbo girls are stupid and worthless....*as if the guy mama and sister no be igbo oh* i saw the note..i was like wth?? dude mehn..like seriously are u that emotionally messed up? a grown man like u...making facebook ur 'release my anger' area? like go watch t.v or something or hang out with ur friends....and stop being a psycho
so wen i read the note and knew that it was clearly about me...i textd him and asked him wth that was??
this boy had the audacity to call me and tell me that the note is 'fictional' and is based on scientific probablities...huh?? mehn illiteracy na bad thing oh....and u say u are a graduate??
last time i checked
fictional: not based on a true story
this guy wrote a full note on what happened that thursday evening and even described evry detail and still told me it was fictional.....and it wasnt about me and it was based on scientific probablities..and i wont understand until i read da vinci code and other 'scirntific probablity' novels
like wth is scientific probablity novels??? lol
omo mehn..i just weak..after calling him out on his nonsense attitude and telling him my mind..i told him i didnt want to have any thing (even if its ordinary friendship) to do with him again...he apologised and was still lying about his 'scientific probabilty' yannings ...lol
my friend sent him a message on FB....tha babe was so pissed so she decidd to call him out too..lol (yay to friends who are just the ish!!)

my friends message to the dude:

''first of all, ewwwwww at your picture.
I read your note a while back and just to say this, you are one of the most immature men that I have come across/ heard of and to think that you wanted to to hit it off with my sister thats just sad. I did not see a reason for you to write such bullshit about my sister on facebook and then call yourself a grown man. I have dated men a lot older than you and I just think that you should know that men like you are a disgrace to men and most importantly older men. First of all, I am a yoruba woman and tribe has nothing to do with peoples' attitudes and for you to sit there in your oh so dilapidated comfort zone and disrespect your own tribe just goes to show that you are a sad excuse for a man.''

lol....homegurl didnt take it easy o the dude sha...lol
he didnt think twice before he deleted the note and stayed far away from me....

lol.....kai!!!! and he'll be wondering why he is still single...lol
he has some growing up to do sha

yours truly,
iphyigbogurl