WHAT IS UP WITH SOME GUYS OF NOWADAYS ......?

ok...before i go into the main topic....may i just say this...
when u see 40-something to fifty year old women at a naija event with their lace and aso-ebi taking pictures and saying WHICH ONE WILL BE THEIR FACEBOOK PROFILE PIC!!.....then surely...the end times are near.
midlife crisis..midlife crisis....*smh*.......even my dad joined facebook at a point...but y'all kno homegurl aint letting that happen so I made him leave!! although i can't help thinking that he still logs in and chats on FB......that's just sad(if it happens) ...at least he is not my friend on FB...and i dont think he will even consider sending me a friend request.....lol....i shall just vex!!

ok....so my itouch is spoilt.....apple is a very shitty comapany...tcheww!! I bought an ipod in november..it spoilt in december....got a new one for free(warranty) in january...july is here....and ...bam!! spoilt again..for no reason..just stopped playing..screen isnt even coming on........
*i want a new one!!!* :( ...who wants to offer to buy me a new one? :)

ah hah...i wanted to talk about this...so I have been asked by someone .....
someone:''iphy, why dont u have a boyfriend''....
iphy:''y is it so weird that i dont have one?''....
someone:.'well u are not the type of girl to go boyfriendless''....
iphy:uhm...in what sense?? na die?
someone: no but seriously sha.....e no fit u...lol
iphy:lol......ngwa come and dash me na.....my dear single life aint dat bad....
someone:i kno..but its just strange for you...
iphy:ok.....i dont kno sha..just not interested in anyone at the mo..
someone:do u need me to hook u up?
iphy:*blink blink blink* did i tell u am dying? abeg jo..leave matter
....the rest of the conversation is boring so i shall move on

well........i am MEAN....maybe i am..maybe am not....or maybe i'm just weird...i turned down a guy because he wasn't naija(dis dude was still african oh)...*ashamed of myself*......all because homeboy didnt have 'naija swagg' and this dude was tall, dark , handsome, fine, nice, romantic(errmm kinda), foward(asper he didnt front and hide the fact that he liked me...he let me kno sharp sharp) but still i said NO....i AM a discriminator!!!!!
Then someone told me...well u compare guys to ur exes..
uhmm..nooooooo.......i just want them to be 'better' not 'like' my exes....both my exes were high school loves.....wat did i kno??? a bunch of 16 and 17 yr old boys....lol..... :)..dont get me wrong..they were good guys but they both had their maturity issues at some point....but thats story for another day....
well so I have a rule:
1.do not date any dude below 20....for maturity sake...(y'all kno homegurl is mature..mentally and emotionally!!!..lol)
but omo trust me!!! that rule is very flexible....
it became flexible when i met the most immature 26 yr old dude(the guy was actually 28yrs old oh...kai!! i supose dey call am uncle!!!)

first of all..let me tell u how this guy toasted me.....very corny and smoothless and suaveless method...*smh*
i received a fone call one day..(for the sake of this blog i shall call him swellie)
swellie:hi iphy, how u doin
iphy:*confused* uhm....hu is dis please?
swellie:its swellie.....do u remember me?
iphy:obviously no...hu is swellie??
swellie:we met in front of engineering building...remember?
iphy:uhm..i have never even been standing in front of the engineering building before...so ...i dont think we have met..
swellie:it was u and ur friend...nkemjika(not real name for privacy sake) dont u remember?
iphy:wat was i wearing....
swellie:i really dont remember....but u gave me ur number
iphy:no i didnt..dude i dont even kno u....
swellie:ahhhh iphy..its not good oh..is dat how u 4get pple?
*at this point i start feeling guilty..maybe av actually met this dude before oh....maybe i just cant remember*
iphy: i need to see a pic to remember....
swellie:ok..i'll add u on FB...lets see if u remember
iphy:ok..but i really doubt that i kno u...i might not have the best memory but omo...i remember people!!

dude adds me on FB and i see his picture..i dont even kno this dude!!! he looks like an uncle mehn!!!plus he has 'afo beer(beer gut)" but wait...he has my number...whats up wit dat? i was still just 3 months old in my school....i didnt even kno dat much pple..so i doubt if anyone gave it to him...ah well...maybe i just have a crappy memory..ok so he keeps calling me and we kip talking on the fone..den he asks me out....i ask nkemjika if she wants to come..since the purpose of the goin out was 'so i can remember him(as if i'm a dummy!!)" maybe she would remember him too....babe said no...and dat she doesnt remember him and from the way he sounds it seems like its me he wants to 'take out'...so i agree....i dropped hs number with a few friends before i left sha..just in case....(serial killers and rapist are REAL)...but then again wasnt it stupid of me to go out with him..considering the fact that i dont remember him?..issues mehn..i sha have issues!! but i felt since he is a naija person he no get liver like dat to do all this stupid dangerous stuff..they'll just deport his ass!!! im no dey fear???
so i came out to where his car was parked .....dude was all dressed up in purple satin shirt and suit and all that..in my mind am like...ha!! na wa oh..i thought we were just goin to catch a movie then bowl or something....then he said plans had changed that we were goin for dinner..he took me to this high end resturant and was trying to be smooth..laffing at everythin i said(it got irritating at i point!!!)..na evrything person dey laff for? shuo.thats just trying too hard...
eventually sha..after three hours of gisting and eating....and him confessing to me about how he stalked my FB page and spent 4 hours on my page *dude..u're just sad mehn*
this guy even knos all my siblings names and my best friends' names and where they go and all that..kai!!! *sorry excuse for a 26(28) yr old!!* then we got back in the car
iphy:so date is over ...i still dont remember u
swellie:ok...so let me tell the truth ..we have never met
iphy:*reaching for my pepper spray* huh??? where the hell did u get my number?
swellie:calm down....my friend Kuru(not real name) met u and u guys exchanged numbers and talked so Kuru came home and told me that u are a beauty..u are a perfect woman, u are nice..bla bla bla..u are my ideal woman
*make i no lie my head been dey swell with pride sha*lol
iphy:so u lied to me just to get me out on a date with u...how irritating!!
swellie:am sorry..am really sorry, i just really wanted to get to kno u one-on -one ..on a personal level
iphy:whatever mehn...just take me back home(my house of course not his oh!) am tired
he dropped me off....got home..and den called me..telling me how he loves me...am like wth??? dude u've known me for only 4 hrs or so...and how he was tempted to kiss me but he just had to hold himself.....on the first date??? sick individual!
ask me if we couuld go see a movie the next day.....and how he wants to spend the weekend with me(dude ur just horny mehn!!!! u just need to get laid...and i wont be ur layer!!!lol)..well i said i'll go see a movie with him but i aint spendin no damn weekend with his potbellied ass!!(kai! am wicked sha!!)
the next day comes we go see the movie...
dis guy was just trying to go first and second base with me in the cinema!!! like wth?? dont even go there...am not even ur girlfriend sef and u're trying to be fast..omo i be naija gurl oh..incase u didnt kno...we are not mugus!!! we are smart girls!! so i said no..dude tried again....i said no..dude tried the 3rd time... i got pissed..dat was we he left me alone and started watchin the movie(after the movie had already gone halfway)..he apologised....
i said ok..but dont try that ish next time mehn...it wont be funny...
he drops me off at my friends house....tells me he loves me(again!!) and goes home...my friend was like..""is it just me or does he look 35???""lol....that night he calls me at midnight and sarts to talk about havin a relationship..i told him..its not even possible.....he's too old...he said ''age is just a number and he doesnt pla to get married anytime soon''....wth??? ur talking of marraige?? i havent even agreed to go out with u!! kai!! ............
ah well.....this blog is gettting too long..i shall post the rest soon..if it's too long..una go tire to dey read ........the rest is coming soon.....thats wen u'll get to see swellie's childishness!!!
yours truly