I want a divorce...

“I want a divorce”

Uju looked at her husband in disbelief, refusing to make sense of what he just said, she turned back to the stove and checked the jollof rice she was cooking, “Do you want chicken or would you rather have baked salmon tonight since you had chicken for lunch?”
“Did you hear me Ujunwa? I said want a divorce” Atarhi sighed, and sat down on one of the bar stools by the granite counter in their large, well-furnished kitchen.
“ ‘Tarhi …what?”

“Look, Uju…this thing isn’t working, let’s face the truth and call it what it is”

Did he just refer to their marriage as ‘this thing’? Uju turned off the stove and turned back to him. The savory smell of the jollof rice started to nauseate her. How could Atarhi want to divorce her? Where was all this coming from?
“ ’Tarhi are you kidding?” Uju knew he wasn’t kidding, for weeks she had sensed something coming, she just didn’t see it was something this big, something that meant her world was crumbling and she was sinking. “Atarhi, is there another woman? What’s going on? A divorce? Baby…how?”

He looked at her, and examined her face, her smooth dark chocolate skin, her captivating wide eyes that mirrored every bit of sadness and disappointment that she felt, her beautiful long hair, she was beautiful, effortlessly so. He stared intently at the face of a woman he once loved, and he realized he felt nothing, absolutely nothing close to love for her anymore. He wondered how he had grown out of love with this woman he once cared everything for, how love could become indifference.

Uju started to cry, at first the tears streamed down her face as she avoided his gaze, looking past him at the living room she had newly decorated, the magnificent expensive home they shared, the home they would raise their kids and live in love- or so she had thought. She thought about how they had recently moved to a bigger house, a better one in preparation for the kids that the wanted, and the life that they envisioned together. Then she started to sob uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry Uju, please don’t cry, I’m just not happy anymore, I haven’t been for a while” Atarhi stood up from the stool and moved towards her, he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, it always hurt him to see her cry profusely.

Uju moved away from him, she stopped crying “Atarhi why? Is it another woman?” she hoped he would say no, she willed for him to look at her and realize he was making a big mistake and that all he wanted to do was be with her and make it work.

“It’s not about that, this is something I’ve thought long and hard about, it’s not easy on me either but we can’t continue in this state, this nothingness, feelings die Uju”

She walked past him and went upstairs, leaving him in the kitchen, she went into their bedroom and started searching everywhere; his trouser pockets, his wallet, his drawers. She didn’t know what she was looking for, a clue perhaps, something that’ll help her make sense of this whole situation. She saw his phone in the bathroom by the sink, she picked it up and started going through his text messages and call history, she wanted to find a reason- it was probably another woman. “Uju”, she heard Atarhi’s voice from the bathroom doorway “why are you going through my things? Is all this necessary?” She stopped, for the first time since he mentioned the divorce she looked Atarhi in his eyes and felt a mix of emotions; she hated him and loved him at the same time. “Atarhi is there something you’re not telling me?” her voice started to rise, she felt so much rage “How dare you! We love each other, we always have! Now you want to just walk out on me for no damn reason? How selfish of you Atarhi! Do you know how this makes me feel? Everything we planned for, everything we promised each other, everything we’ve shared, doesn’t it mean anything to you?”

She collapsed on the bathroom floor, still clutching his phone, then she flung it towards him, he ducked and the phone hit the wall and shattered. Atarhi looked at her, her eyes were full of so much rage, yet they were full of sadness and longing, a longing for her husband to come back to his senses.

“Ujunwa, I am not going to fight with you, and I won’t have this nonsense, did you find what you were looking for? I have told you, it is not another woman, it is not about anyone, and this is about me and you”

She got up from the bathroom floor and walked towards him, she grabbed his shirt and held on to him “ ‘Tarhi you are not leaving me, we are going to fix this, we’ll work it out, we’ll go for counseling. We are not getting a divorce, not now, not ever!”

Atarhi broke free of her grip, he had never seen her like this, so full of rage, so needy. He started to walk out; she ran past him and blocked the doorway. He looked at her, she stared right back into his eyes “Baby please” she broke down into tears again, she looked even smaller than her petite self when she was like this, so fragile. She firmly placed her hands on the sides of the doorway, she strengthened her stance “‘Tarhi you are not going anywhere! I did not marry you for you to walk out on me, on us! Do you hear me?”

“Uju, move out of my way”, he said calmly

She stood firmly

“I am not going to say it again, Uju move out of my way!” He moved closer, his heavily built and tall body towered over her

Uju moved away, she feared that he might push her out of the way. Atarhi went into their elegantly furnished and spacious room, he pulled out a small suitcase from their large walk in closet that mostly housed her designer clothes and shoes, her expensive bags and jewelry, he placed it on their king sized bed.
Uju stood from the bathroom door, watching him; was he packing up her things? Was he going to send her away? He must be out of his mind! She made this home, together they made this home, she would not allow him kick her out of her home simply because he paid the bills!

 “What are you doing Atarhi? I am not leaving this house!”

“Well, you’re not, I am.”

With that, Atarhi walked back to the closet and grabbed some clothes and a few items and threw them in the suitcase. He grabbed his briefcase from work, his keys, the suitcase and the pieces of his broken cell phone and headed downstairs. Shortly after, Uju heard the front door shut and heard her husband’s Porsche leave the driveway. She got into bed and cried herself to sleep.