The One About Being Financially Dependent On A Man

For as longs as I can remember, I have HATED the idea of being at the mercy of anyone ever. More importantly, the idea of being financially dependent on a man has irked me and scared me at the same time.

I grew up in a household where both parents brought home the cheese. For as long as I can remember, my mother has never been out of work. I grew up to admire this trait. Because of this arrangement, my parents have equal say regarding our family issues and concerns. Nobody really had the upper hand when it came to decisions.
Usually, the breadwinner determines what happens in a household but this was not the case with mine because we have two breadwinners.


If you ask any of my close friends or guys I have dated, they'll tell you that I am the most outspoken advocate for a woman being her financial rock in life.

I actually dated a dude once that told me he would not want his woman or wife to work or be financially independent because he wants to be the one to "spoil her" *rolls eyes* I straight up told him that that bullshit is for the birds and our relationship will definitely be short term with that kind of mentality because I don't play that nonsense. Then he mentioned something about being that way because he grew up in a household where his mother depended on his father for EVERYTHING and that made her succumb to his every demand. ...and subsequently put up with some intense bullshit he dished her.

You see, that's not who I am or who I want to be. I don't ever want to feel like I am at the mercy of a man because he provides for me.

I have seen children who disregard their mother's opinions and decisions because "it's not up to her" since "she doesn't make the money". In our society, the person who brings the dough, gets to decide what kind of bread will be made.

Let's put pride and being your own boss aside for a minute and imagine this scenario...

A man is the sole breadwinner of a home, suddenly he dies or maybe makes some bad business decisions, mismanages some funds or maybe bad economy royally screws him up and leaves him penniless..... who will put the children through school?  who will put food on the table?

I can't count how many times I have heard a story of a family friend or a friend's friend or something that had to face harsh times because the father left the non-working, non-career having, stay-at-home mother and his kids, marred some other woman , had other kids by her, totally abandoned his first family and called it a life.

I think this is why I obsess so much about my future and my career plans and I make it a point to make sure I am well on my way to career and financial fulfillment, living my dream and achieving my goals before tying myself down.

Some people tell me I obsess over the matter too much and I try too hard to be an independent woman, some people tell me that I might put everything on the line in order to be this super career woman.
I believe in balance, I do not intend to put my life, loved ones, partner etc on the back burner because of my career but at the same time I won't put my life , my career and dreams on the back burner because of a man or friends or loved ones.

When people say "don't be too hard on yourself with this career obsessiveness, at least you are a woman, if you fail you can always depend on your man for your upkeep", I get mad. Honestly, what kind of basic simple minded thinking is that?  I will pursue my dreams and try TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY to achieve my goals.

House-wife, stay-at-home, no-career having, financially dependent woman or wife? Miss me with all that my dear.

Momma taught me better.

My name is Iphyigbogurl, and I have an extreme phobia of being a woman.......who ends up depending on a man for her livelihood.