Thursday, January 14, 2010

Continuation.........

OK.. before i post the story, I realize that i never really described the characters, I should have done this in the first part. but I didn't and I didn't in the second part either.... I guess i suck at that. Neways....i promise that in the third part I'll try and incorporate the descriptions, or would you like me to just give a paragraph describing the characters or i should work it into the story?
I'm very new to this writing thing, so I'm still sort of a blonde at it.

here's part 2..... enjoy... it's a bit short and all...will complete it as soon as i get a chance...


**********

The sound of food sizzling from the kitchen and the smell of pancakes woke Juachi up. Tega was making breakfast for them like he always did when she was over at his house. She stretched on the bed putting her palms over her eyes to block the sunlight coming in through the open curtain. She lazed about on the bed for a while savoring the sweet smell of Tega’s cooking, then she got up and went over to the window, and closed the curtains to stop the sunlight from coming in. She walked out of the room, through the hallway, past the living room and into the kitchen and planted a kiss on Tega’s cheek. “Good morning beautiful, slept well?” Tega said while kissing her back and simultaneously lifting her onto the kitchen counter, he kissed her over and over again as she put her hands around his shoulder, he kissed her everywhere; her neck, her ears, her chest, at the same time removing the red silk nightwear she had on as he moved down to kiss her breasts, her tummy, her sides, he just couldn’t keep his hands off her. Her phone rang from the bedroom “ig… ignore it babe” she said as he scooped her up from the counter letting her night dress fall on to the kitchen floor, now all she had on was her lace knickers as Tega carried her to the bedroom and placed her on the bed, he kissed her again running his hands and mouth all over her body, her phone rang again and her eyes caught the caller id; mum. “Babe, I have to get this, it has to be important for her to be calling at 8 in the morning” Juachi said as she gently pushed him away from on top of her, propped herself against a pillow and answered her phone “Good morning mum, how are you?” Juachi grabbed her night robe from the floor where it had fallen when she was asleep as she got up from the bed and wrapped it around her at the same time mouthing to Tega “go check what you have on the cooker babe” ;Tega got up from the bed and went into the kitchen.
“Juachi nne, have you been asleep? I have been knocking for about 10 minutes now, please come and get the door”
“Huh??? Mum, where are you?” Juachi said startled
“I’m at your house now, I have been standing at your door knocking for 10 minutes, come get the door biko”
“Which house??”
“Jua…. Are you alright? Your house in Lagos now, which other house do you have? Get out of bed sleepy head. Come and get the door. My feet hurt.” Her mum said impatiently.
“Mum…didn’t we discuss this; you said we’ll see during Toyin’s wedding, did you come all the way here just to talk about this marriage thing?” Juachi sighed.
Honestly nothing surprised her when it came to her mother. Mrs. Ofunne Oke was a very crazy woman; crazy with all that came with being crazy.
“Bia…Juachi.I don’t understand this one oh….come and open the door first and we’ll talk, your keeping me out here shouting and making your neighbours think I am insane”
“I am not home. It’ll take me 15-20 minutes to get there. Hold on for a few minutes. Bye.” Juachi said right before she hung up, she didn’t want to deal with her mother for another two weeks at least.
She went into the closet and grabbed a tank top and sweat pants from a drawer. She always had clothes and personal care items in Tega’s house. She brushed her teeth and went to the kitchen “Guess who decides to show up unannounced?” She said to Tega as she opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of orange juice. She didn’t wait for a answer “why do mothers do stuff like this? I really don’t get it. All because she wants to rant about stuff she can say on the phone”
“What is it she has been bothering you about? She seems to want to talk to you about ‘important issues’ these days” Tega said using his fingers as imaginary quotation marks to emphasize ‘important issues’.
Juachi started to speak, but then he realized how bad of an idea it would be to tell Tega that her mother was pushing her to get married, she didn’t want it to seem like she was begging for a proposal considering the fact that they had never really talked about marriage or a future together. And that scared her as it dawned on her; they had not talked about a future together or anything of that sort, she wasn’t up to 60% sure where their relationship was headed. She was silent, her face changing into a semi-confused expression as the thoughts ran around her mind. What if this wasn’t going anywhere? What if her and Tega were just playing around? Sure they loved each other but does that guarantee anything?
“Babe?” Tega interrupted her thoughts giving her a puzzled look, she had been silent for a while, lost in thought.
“Oh…oh… sorry baby. What were you saying?”
“What’s your mum bothering you about?”
“Oh …it’s nothing serious. She is just worried about my Dad, always talking about how one relative or the other wants to milk him of his money and all that. You know my mum complains of every little thing and suspects everyone? So it’s nothing to worry about baby.” Juachi lied effortlessly as she managed a smile and kissed Tega before she turned and headed towards the front door yelling out to him in the kitchen “I’ll call you later sweetie” and shut the door.



Juachi drove into her neighborhood and parked her car in her driveway. It was an estate, so they didn’t have gates in front of each house and the estate resembled a modern day American suburb with houses close to each other and perfectly manicured lawns and gardens, It was quite expensive as it was in the nicer part of town but she had gotten a huge discount from the owner because he was her father’s business associate back in the 90’s, so it was easy for her to afford it with about 30% taken off the price. Most people that lived in the estate were newlyweds who didn’t need big houses yet until the children start rolling in, small families, staff who had their company sponsoring their accommodation, rich spinsters and bachelors and people who traveled a lot for their businesses and were transferred a lot and wanted to rent the flats for about 6 months or less. Her mother was standing right in front of her front door with her suitcases looking irritated.
“Jua, you said fifteen minutes”
“Traffic” Juachi replied as she unlocked the door and carried her mother’s two suitcases into the flat “Mum, two suitcases for one weekend? Don’t you think that’s a bit too much, carrying all this unnecessarily load”
“Nne, I am staying here till Toyin’s wedding, there’d be no point going back to Port Harcourt and coming back in two weeks, plus we need to have girls time and shop and hang out don’t we? life’s a bit of a bore these days with all of you grown and away from me, Dozie just graduated from college, 22 year old boy oh, still a small boy, ngwa come back to Nigeria and work with your father, he has refused, You, you have left us to pursue your career here in Lagos, that’s why I insisted that Oby should go to a private university in Port Harcourt, at least let me be seeing my baby, but your father refused and sent her to America as well, now I only get to see her during the summer when I go visit”
“So wh…..”
“As in ehn, I just get so lonely these days” Her mother interrupted her “I wish you all were kids again, it seems like yesterday when all of you would run around and play on the swing. And you know your father works and works so he is hardly home, either one business trip or another, and since I quit my Job, I haven’t really been doing anything with myself except for this new kindergarten and daycare I just opened so I can be around kids again. It’s not as if I’m ever there anyways. I need a holiday. With you. Away from all the stress of Port Harcourt. So here I am.”
“So no marriage talk? Deal?”
“Jua, I’m afraid there will be a lot of that, I am worried now, biko nu. I just want to be sure that you and Tega are planning to seal this deal in about a year, can you promise me that?”
Juachi laughed, “Promise you that we are going to get married? Mum, I might be able to do a lot of things, but I haven’t yet learnt how to propose to a man, and I don’t think that will happen anytime soon”
“Well, why don’t you bring it up? I mean with all these countless nights you spend at his house, it’s as good you living there, therefore you people are very compatible, you have been together for two years, he’s a nice guy, you love each other, what’s the delay? Just randomly bring it up one day and ask him what he sees in the future for both of you, I mean, with all this cake his eating without bride price first you would think he’d have stepped up by now”
“Cake?”
“Of course. I mean you are as good as being his wife, you go to his house a lot, spend nights, sleep with him, etcetera, all that one is “oshofree”…. He is chopping for free; he should make it official and put a ring on it”
“Put a ring on it?” Juachi laughed. “Who is teaching you all this hip hop terminology, old woman like you, better leave Beyonce-type talk”
Her mother laughed. “You should be happy you have a current mother oh, anyways but seriously Juachi, bring it up to him and see what he says because I’d be damned if after all this, he leaves you for another woman, you’re 26 oh”
“Mum, if Tega will marry me, he will marry me and trust me he’d be the one proposing. I’m not going to do any indirect or suggestive proposal just so you can be happy, if you want grandchildren, adopt a 2 yr old, so you can have kids around you if that’s how bad you want grandkids”
Her mother stood up and went into the kitchen. Juachi turned on the T.V and lay on the couch, silently happy that her mother had stopped talking. Her mother emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of oranges and a knife and sat down and an arm chair. Juachi’s silent happiness went away; she knew her mother would continue. She sighed deeply.
“Oh…. Jua, so you think this is about me wanting grandchildren? That is not the main issue. Look at my friends’ daughters, getting married left , right and center, talking about their in-laws and throwing big weddings, and see me, can you imagine how I feel? The other day, Toyin’s mother called me to ask me if I could be one of the “mothers in gold gele” at Toyin’s wedding and she told me you are one of the bridesmaids, I felt insulted. If anyone ever told me that Mrs. Adegoke would be asking me to be in her daughter’s bridal party before I ask her to be in mine, I wouldn’t have believed it”
“Therefore, what your saying is, you want me to get married for you and not because I want to? Ok…. You’re getting a bit selfish here mum. Really. Anyways, you have two more weeks to torture me with all this talk, so I’m going to leave you here to watch T.V, your suitcases are in the guest room. I’m going to take a nap. Didn’t get much sleep last night”
“I’m sure you didn’t” her mum said with a mischievous grin “that Tega looks like beast in bed” her mum winked at her.
“I won’t even dignify your weird comments with an answer” Juachi laughed as she got up to go to her room.
“All I know is that he needs to put a ring on it. Fullstop.”

18 comments:

Myne said...

I think I'm first! LOL...

Myne said...

OK, this reads very real and I loved it. Still can't put a face to Juachi but I liked how you described the bedroom scene when she woke up. Tega sounds like a nice enough guy but ehmm, na so they could have learnt the food to burn abi? LOL

On a different note, why do girls think they cannot propose to guys or raise the marriage issue? And they've been dating 2 years? And she wants to get married oo. OK..

Midun said...

Liking the improved description. Love the story as well. I say incorporate the description, that way we have changing descriptions, perhaps to fit appropriately. Second? Really.. Wow!

Neo said...

Nice, see those bad people that were doing rumurumu (courtsey Nice Anon) in the kitchen o on top pancake kwa! bad childs!

i still think Tega is bad news, i'm just a cynic sha.

On descriptions, u cld incorporate it into the next chapter, maybe as Juachi gets ready for work or smth, use her routine to give us an insight into what she looks like eg "she ran a comb through her shoulder length hair" smth like that

shorty said...

Nice read,as Myne said they could have left the food burn.LOL

I hope Tega propose o so mum would be happy.

Bubbles said...

This was quite hard to read
you should space more
and put dialouges in new paragraphs
like so:

"How are you Tega"

"I'm fine"

I couldn't read it to the end because all the words were cramped up
but from what I read, it was quite good.
Give Juachi a face

Blogoratti said...

Oh you writing now...
Hnnnm have to check out the rest of it. How you?

LucidLilith said...

Damn...
Since when did momsie become a c**k blocker??? lol...
I really like this story though.
Lol at put a ring on it. all these men dragging their feet don hear wehn!

Rene said...

awwh! Jua's mum is funny sha

Mr.Funnyhoneymoney said...

this is good a lil describing titbit once in a while little like 'she looked at him with her blah blah blah eyes and noticed he had grown a little more blah blah blah' and such would help

Anonymous said...

I loved this piece...and this is not me being an ass kisser....the story is great...


I woulda critiqued your work but..nehh I pass...

F said...

Just found ur blog (I know, what have I been doing with my life?)... It is hilarious. To avoid commenting on every post and being stalkerish, I'll leave it at that :)

Pervy comments by Naija parents trying to be "current" are always entertaining. I have to admit that in some parts, the mother didn't sound like a naija parent, more like Juachi's age mate... Can't put my finger on why... Maybe it's just me... I like the direction in which the story is going, though.

Anonymous said...

I think its nice. Waiting for the next part.

Sonia O. said...

awesome story girl! though the mum seems too carefree and indifferent to the sex thingy as if she aint African

iphyigbogurl said...

@Myne....thanks!!
as for the marraige bringin up issue...i think it deoends on the individual

@Midun....thanks a lot!!! :)

@Neo...lol..."rumurumu"
kk...i'll work on the descriptions for sure. thanks!

@shorty....thanks...
i hope tega proposes too...who knows....lol... :)

@Bubbles....advice taken. thanks!

@blogoratti....yea i am.
i am doing great. how u been?

@Lucid...lol...serious cock blocker...lol
thanks.

@Rene....yea she is...lol

@Mr. funnyhoneymoney.... ok..advice taken.

@Chari.....thanks!!! appreciate it!!!

@F.....thanks a lot for stopping by!!

@Anon...i appreciate!!

@Sonia...... not all africans are strict when it comes to sex.....Juachi is 26 years old...so techinically her mum giving her such restrictions would be a bit weird. and evrybody has their different approach towards things. So yea...Juachi's mom isnt ur stereotypical nigerian mother in some aspects.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I like it. The mom is funny. Its funny, now as a married woman my mom is now mentioning 'sex' to me. Its quite funny as she never did it when I was younger, lol!

Take care.

iphyigbogurl said...

tthanks for stopping by Solomon Sydelle! :)

take care!

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

lol..Iike Juachi's mom hipness! and yes the relationship they have is not the "typical" expected nigerian-parent child relationship..but I loved that!