knock knock...

kai!
my personal peoples!
e don tey wey i reassh this zones with proper post
as in..it has indeed tey

but as 2011 don nak..i have decided that out of my 150 new yr resolutions, i'll keep like 5..
and one of those 5 will be to blog more often

i have missed blogville no be small..

oh first of all.. Happy new year y'all!! I can't believe January is already coming to an end... time flies sha..
anyways.. e good sef make time dey fly... and fly right by Valentines day period..
i swear that has to be like my worst "holiday" ( is it even worthy of being called a holiday sef? tcheww) in the year...
assss iiiiinnnnnnn..... everywhere will just be shining red and pink for no reason...in the name of valentine day decorations..
then all these Love-miss-road people will be doing the "utmost most" everywhere. whether it's in the stores oh...on campus oh, inside car sef...person go dey drive, instead of the ode to concentrate on the road and fulfill everybody's (well, most people) wish of not facing premature death..the idiot will be kissing and doing lovey lovey , inside car kwa? i pity your life!
you'll just open your eyes and find yourself in heaven..apostle peter sef go come dey laugh u on-top sey na kiss kiss and touchingsons wey carry you jam untimely death...
another reason why i hate valentines day is because of all the profile picture changes ... Donatus will change his prof pic to a pic of his gyal and write some "deep" romantic stuff under like : "you move me my love, i come alive because of your love for me...bla bla bla"... oh really? you come alive? so u were dead before?
Zombie

Donatus will now go and add some quote he found on google and not even quote the person who wrote it originally...

then Okwanuzo will now update her status to : omg! i fucking love you babe! gosh! my baby knows how to surprise me..breakfast in bed? a new puppy! oakley shades and two tickets to hawaii! my baby is the best..u the best boo! best i ever had! this is true love! xx

then us na, that we are roasting... no gift, no card sef... text sef we no see.. we should now go and catch fire because we don't know true love? ok oh...

I know by now you guys are probably thinkin..men iphy is just salty because she doesn't experience the love that lovers look forward to on valentines day...

and i will not disagree with you... i am indeed salty.

all i asked for was a trip to paris and a $15,000 shopping spree for valentines day..
ok, no? ok ...i'll accept dinner and boat cruise.. with private live band..
no? biko nu?
u don't even have to love me sef..me ma i dnt have to love you... just do it for charity...
na wa oh...
it's a col' col' world!

anyways..the gist is... I hate   do not really fancy all the Valentine day hype... unless i am getting gifts. simple!
if i'm not getting gifts i program myself t get angry at all the happy lovey-dovey people wrapped in a cocoon of love (and gifts) on that day..
if u come near me..i'll baff u with pepper water... I'm MAD!

ok.. *mini rant over*

#latepass  but did y'all hear about the twitter fight that happened between two unilag babes that were cussing each other out and using hand fan to blow fowl nyash open because they were sleeping with guys for blackberry and Brazilian hair abi kini?
#iweak

i no blame them too much sha..i've seen guys that sleep with guys for peppersoup and small stout...so i guess knacking get levels..
e get the peppersoup level and then the BB level, then the brazilian hair level (ah! u don arrive be dat! o ti arrive gan!)

the the reigning one in naija now.. the Dubai trip level.. as in U knack the guy and u get a ticket to dubai so u can climb camel or go shopping..
if ur lucky and u knack very well...he fit open boutique for u and send u to dubai so u can buy "goods" for your "shop"

seems like Dubai is the new jand and America... ok. i see.

anyway with the pressure pple in naija put on you when you don't have a BB (as i witnessed this past christmas)... i guess we can say the babes had reached their breaking point and had to get the bb one way or another...

as in ehn..if u dont have BB in naija now ...u are not worthy..as in... u are just not worthy and u can never be a bigs gyals.. e no poss!

in naija someone asked for my pin (w/out even asking whether or not i have a BB), then when i'm like.."which type u want? safety pin abi office pin? " and their like "ooohh..i'm serious na....gimme your pin". shuo! u think me i am playing kwa? no be u ask for pin..i want to kno the type u want na, cuz i get the two
anyway i tell the person i don't have a BB..u needed to see the shock on the person's face.. the person now proceeded to ask me a stupid question..
"How can someone that came from yankee say they dnt have a BB" ..
i literally gave the person the O_O look (also known as "the blank stare". it had a more dramatic effect if u wear glasses like i do) , bcos frankly i haven't mastered the art of answering stupid questions.

odi egwu.. anyway me i just kukuma put my mytouch inside bag... make dem no carry my gist for mouth sey i be liirrrrle girl

oh and wat's up with everybody in Lagos having a faux british accent?
even the ones we kno have not entered plane before..
me sef i started feeling razz bcos i was talking normally...

but, then again, i feel razz most days so i'm not sure if it  was bcos i was speaking normally or if it was just one of those "most days"

nawa oh..
make una no bite tongue sha...

ok..i've run outta things to say..so i'll leave now..

e go be my pipu,
Iphy

P.S  am going thru this phase where i want to dye my fro some golden brown (more gold, less brown) shade...sorta kinda like EVE......someone said if i do it i'll look like a stripper..
haha!

eeentyyywayyyss....
we'll see how it goes...
if i end up looking like a stripper, i'll just take pole dancing classes to make it complete

i keed i keed.

or maybe not.
i really want to take pole dancing classes
no for stripping purposes sha...
mainly because pole dancing really fascinates me..
plus i'll look sexy on a pole in a golden brown fro...!

oh the joy!