OK......
I AM STRESSED
I AM PISSED
I HAVE A HEADACHE THAT I HAVE HAD FOR ABOUT 5 HOURS NOW...
AUSTIN WEATHER IS SO EFFING ANNOYING ...only in this useless state capital of Texas will we have four different weathers in one week!!!! I'm telling you..... this weather is seriously bipolar!!! for most of last week it was hot...goood good..... ok...come saturday and sunday..... tell me why this bipolar weather decided to go all winter-like on our asses?????? then today ...... ITS HOT AGAIN in the afternoon. Now it's evening and guess what??? its getting chilly again!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! like effing make up your mind!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOSH!!!!
i am angry at myself........ I feel like crying..... (which i will probably do after i post this because that's the only way i can rid myself of all the anger in me right now)
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE AND THAT SADDENS ME GREATLY!!!
like..... if you ask me what or where i see myself doing/being in the next 5 years....
i will tell you that I don't know.
all i know is, I want to be successful and I want to love my job.
which brings me to one of the biggest dilemmas of my life..
I am changing my major.....
It's either to PR (public relations) or to International relations (for now these are the options i'm considering)
but i can't make a decision because i do not know what i want to do.....
which gives me the feeling that i am unserious and if at this stage (sophomore year)..i don't know what i want to do with my life.... ....wahala dey.
now i'm here contemplating....
either way, changing my major will make me have to spend at least one more semester past my expected graduation date because of lost hours.....
well unless i start taking like 18 hrs a semester (which i don't plan to do) and like 9 hrs every summer...... till i graduate
and what if i eventually choose a major and realize i made a big mistake!!!!
why can't i be like other people who knew what they wanted to do since they were like 5 years old????
I have had sooooo many career ambitions....
DOCTOR, LAWYER...CHEMICAL ENGINEER, COSMETOLOGIST, ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST, INTERIOR DECORATOR, ACTRESS, PR AGENT, CATERER, TALK SHOW HOST,AIR HOSTESS, HOTEL MANAGER, FASHION DESIGNER...ACCOUNTANT, BANKER, MUSICIAN, CATERER....
and I am not even 21 yet....
no wonder i am confused!!!! when i can't even make up my mind on what i want to be...
The daddy said it doesn't matter.....
he said anything I do is fine as long as i'm happy and get a post grad and have a good and happy job and not something I will be miserable doing....
but i just want to cry.....
It has never dawned on me that I am this unserious and undecided
how did this happen???
*sigh* Lord please help me.
I don't want to be one of those people who on their graduation day regrets graduating with a degree in a major they absolutely hate and are not sure if that was the right path for them.
and with all this stress from thinking about this......
AUSTIN YELLOW CAB pissed me off AGAIN!!!!!!!
what kind of cab company takes an hour to get a cab to you?????????
I live in the center of the city for God sake!!!! near downtown.... the busiest area....
Austin is a big city with lots of cab moving around the streets!!!! how does it take an hour to get a cab to me????????????
now i missed my appointment!!!!!!
GOSH... i can't wait for the end of the week to come so i can take my driving test and go pick up my car and finally delete STUPID AUSTIN YELLOW CAB from my speed dial list!!!!!
and now....
i am getting nervous about my driving test...... inasmuch as I am a pretty good driver...anytime i think of people who have told me how they have had to take the test some 2-3 times.... i can't help but get nervous.......
Lord please let me pass it.
AND THEN I HAVE A PROJECT THAT I NEED TO COMPLETE BY MONDAY FOR A CLASS THAT I DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT MUCH AND I'M TAKING JUST BECAUSE I NEED TO TAKE THE CLASS AND GET A B GRADE IN THE CLASS TO TRANSFER TO Public relations (when i'm not even sure i still want to transfer to public relations) *sigh*
so what if i choose International relations instead? so working my butt off for this class will be a waste?????
who the hell gives you a project to make a mind map of someone's attachment and loyalty to a clothing brand?????????????????
how does that help my everyday life????????
ADVERTISING PROJECTS ARE WEIRD....
And pointless as that will not help me or any advertiser or PR agent in any way right now......
And I have two tests next week........
which I am nervous about!!!! I made a B in my last test for one of the classes....when i was very confident that I made a solid A...... i just wanted to cry...
well...i blame me...
who told me to leave town and go to another city and attend an event when i shoulda sat my black ass down and studied that weekend?
instead i convinced myself that 2 days of studying was enough to cover six solid chapters and off i went to party.....
which didn't end so well anyway....as i got into some drama with one of my friends.... ahhh... gurls will always be gurls..... i was just being a gurl... and I allowed drama get to me...lost my voice shouting and arguing too... (but this was over a month ago......so yea..my voice is back)
ah well... shucks.
I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE...
AND I NEED TO STUDY.....
AND OF ALL TIMES TO HAVE MY APPETITE START BEHAVING LIKE A COW ON LIBIDO....
NOW??????
I SWEAR...I AM BEGINNING TO GET HUNGRY EVERY 5 MINUTES...
WHICH STRESSES ME OUT EVEN MORE!!!!
sometimes i just want to scream into a pillow.....
or give myself a load of tranquilizers and put my feet up and not have to worry about a damn thing
or just be by myself sometimes and meditate...... and become calm
Yoga? maybe?
i heard it helps calm you....
but then i heard something about ti being spiritual and Christians should not partake in it.....
?? *sigh*
too many confusing things in this life mehn....
NOW TO GO STUDY.....
maybe seeing an A on my ADVERTISING AND GOVERNMENT exam will bring back a smile to my face...
i just needed to get all these things off my chest before studying.....
AND I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE...
:(
14 comments:
Pele sugar, why on earth is this headache tormenting you now!
My kisses are on their way!
This was definitely some ranting. Hope you feel better now? Goodluck in the upcoming test and making your right decision.
hope u feel berra soon. try some pain killers for ur ache and try to get some rest too. AND ASK GOD FOR DIRECTIONS ALWAYS.
you should talk to a school counsellor.
*e-hugs* hope you feeling much better now. Goodluck with your tests.
Changing ur major in 2nd year doesn't in anyway mean you are unserious nor does it mean u won't be successful. As long as you focus on a combination of what you like, what you are good at and what can guarantee whatever lifestyle you wanna live in 10/20 years, you will be fine! And if u do graduate and think "shoot, I shouldve studied xyz (like a lot of us grads do), then your postgraduate course is another avenue to fix that. Goodluck hun!
There there! I bet you feel a tad better now??
Talk to people that are already working in the field that you wanna go into. First hand account is always the best.
Calm down love!....you'll do great..On ur major, just be sure it is really want you do...If the worst comes to the worst and u graduate and want to do something else, u can focus on that in ur postgarduate...
I'm an accounting major and now I realise that I dont want to spend the rest of my life balancing figures...Its too late to change but I'll definitely do something else for my masters.
Just take it easy and clear ur head
:)
Prepare for a long comment.
Ok first *hugs* then whoosah.Ok...
I feel you on Texas weather, I am still in shock at the snow I saw at my doorstep.
You are a sophomore, don't beat yourself up for not knowing because even when you think you know, you really don't. Why did you decide on those two majors? Think first of what you love and try to find a career connected to it. If you think the mind mapping is weird and doesn't relate to advertising it might not be for you because it is very strongly connected. For now, you could minor in one of the two options you have if you are not sure. Who really works with their major these days, you graduate and find your path, trust me some of us have graduated and still looking for that "job". How many people truly love their jobs?
Take each day as it comes, pray hard and you will surprised when it hits you. Hope I wasn't too preachy but I totally understood how you felt. Feel better!
It's completely ok to rant, I can imagine the stress. Take a deep breath and rethink again before making fast decisions.
Changing your major is ok since you are not yet 21, I rather you do something that will fetch you a good job after college knowing the market is very tough out there.
Hope the headache is gone, get some rest, pray, hang in there. Everything will be fine.
Aww Hun, hope you feel better soon. Sounds like a bad idea but just grab some ice cream and rent a movie and forget about everything for as long as the movie takes :P
Undecided and unserious do not have to mean the same thing. The fact that you are not just drifting through your education and are thinking of making the right decision is in itself proof that you are serious about your future. I totally know how you feel; I am studying Politics with International Relations and sometimes wonder if I chose the right course... Plus, the UK isn't like the US where you have majors and minors so you have options to consider. You pick a course and that is it. Which kind minor dem go give you?
My point is that we all go through periods of doubt. Even established people in successful careers start to feel disillusioned about their career path, not to talk of young people still trying to find a way. A friend of the family abandoned a thriving law career to bake- and she loves it. We are all trying to find our way, so don't beat yourself up if the journey is looking a bit hazy right now... It's all part of the trip.
@Naked sha... thanks babe....
*kisses*
@Myne... thanks. i feel better now.
@fragile looks.... thanks gurl. always asking God for directions. :)
@leggy..... i have.
@shorty... i feel much better. thanks missy!
@cosmopolitan diva....thanks gurl. same thing my counselor said. hope it all works out. :) thanks!!
@Nice anon....yea..i do .. I had talked to lucidlillith about PR.... and she was verrrrry verrryy helpful... so i am still contemplating. hopefully... i make a decision soon.
@Ms. Dufa.....thanks gurl. :)
@Taynement.....i appreciate the encouragement. the thing is... i don't know how i can relate what i love to any major. as for the mind mapping.. actually i dont think its weird. it actually makes sense... i was just so pissed of in the post that i started ranting about it too. :(
thanks again.
and no you weren't preachy... you were encouraging!!
@YNB.... thanks gurl.
but the thing is every major or field is capable of giving you a good job. as far as its what i love and what will support me financially. but i don't know what i really love. i love a lot of things. which makes me even more confused. :(
but thanks gurl!! :)
@miss j..... yes i feel better.....
lol..i grabbed a double strawberry and watched chelsea lately (not a movie tho...lol...but it made me laff still) :)
@F.... thanks gurl.
do you mind telling me a bit about international relations? i have talked to my counselor and done some research as well... but i want to hear from someone who is actually doing it.
thanks for the words of encouragement. :)
Mmm.
Why didn't anybody offer u a cold beer? That'd hav solved everything.
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